Setting the record straight...

 

So I didn't realize that I was falling in to what I call the "Facebook Life." The life that looks absolutely perfect online, when you really have struggles. I've had some family make comments about how things have been so easy or how things have been perfect. So I'm here to set the record straight. It isn't that I want to paint this fake picture of how our life is, I just don't think it is important to dwell on the bad. But, I'll still bare all... good and bad.

So starting with my pregnancy....
Yes, for the most part, my pregnancy went smoothly. I didn't have morning sickness at all, I was able to exercise through the majority of it, and I mostly felt great. However, I got soooooo swollen sooooo early! I didn't have ankles, calves, cheek bones, or a nose for at least half of my pregnancy. People deny it, but I know they were just being kind when they told me how good I looked. I've seen the pictures... Like the one below, and I am so embarrassed that I looked like that! Now that I have lost some baby weight, I will come out and admit that I gained 55 pounds! (I'm happy to say that I'm down 35.) So, basically everything looked peachy on the outside, but I am sooooo glad I'm not pregnant anymore!

38 weeks

Labor/Delivery: Ok, so really I can't say anything bad about this. Honestly it was so much better than I had expected/was told it would go. I did have a really negative nurse. She kept telling me that I would be in labor for at least 16 hours and push for 1-2 hours. It was nice to prove her wrong. The worst part of it all was the epidural. That part gives me anxiety thinking about having another baby. The lidocaine they give you to semi numb the area didn't work. Then, it took 3 tries to get everything good. It hurt so bad and I cried! But that was the worst of it.

First night home: Jaysen was up the WHOLE NIGHT! Tejay and I stayed up in shifts. I cried every time Jaysen cried because I was exhausted and I didn't realize how hard it would be. Then I would feel guilty if I was sleeping and Tejay wasn't. Jaysen had sleep issues for the first week. Every day around 5 I would start to have a panic attack thinking about the night time. I would worry about if he would sleep or be awake, if he would stay up after eating, etc.

At about 3 weeks Jaysen got colicky. For about a week he would cry and cry! There was one night I called Tejay while he was at school and made him come home because Jaysen had been crying for 3 hours. That was the hardest week of being a mom so far. I went back to getting panicky and crying when he cried. Once we got him on his special formula, it got much better. (And has continued getting better.)

Now, with an almost 3 month old, we have pretty good times. The only thing that I get anxiety about is putting him in his car seat. For some reason, when I go places with him, he hates being in his car seat and will usually cry a lot during a car ride. It is getting better and we are figuring out how to keep him entertained. :)

So, as you can see, nothing has been perfect! We have had our own struggles and hills to climb. But, with that said, I have loved being a mom and have had so much fun with my sweet snuggle bug. Good and bad, he is perfect and I am still so in love with him!